Five Key Questions for Proper Praise

[I used Grammarly to grammar check this post, because I read the Past, Present and Future walked into a bar and it was tense.]

Last month I received a question, “Michael you tell us, ‘Remember the rhyme and you’ll do fine,’ but sometimes I want to say a little bit more at a celebration. How do I figure out what to say?” Always thrilled to receive requests – a.k.a. fan mail (in my mind) – I’m equally happy to share the five key questions for proper praise for an extended tasteful toast.
 
The most successful toasts are inspirational and praise the honoree’s meaningful contributions to their family or community. Discovering the right material to use is easy when you know what questions to ask.
Prepping for Proper Praise
   1.   What qualities make this person great or worthy of praise?
   2.   What is his/her source of power or inspiration?
   3.   What debt do we owe for his/her efforts?
   4.   What lessons can we learn from his/her actions?
   5.   What is his/her place in history? 

It’s best to ask family, friends and co-workers these questions about the honoree days or weeks before the event to prepare my material. Here are some tips from award-winning journalist and editor of the book, Kauai Stories, Pamela Brown.
 
In-Person Interview Techniques*My initial inquiry, “What in-person interview techniques can you share?” was answered by a query of her own, “If you were being interviewed, would you rather feel like you’re chatting with a reporter or being peppered with questions?” Point taken, so have a list of what you want to talk about but flow the conversation as if you are talking with the person normally. Next?
 
Set the Scene: Meet in a quiet place where your interviewee is comfortable, like in their home. Ask that there be no distractions so you can both concentrate on your conversation.
 
Record Your Interview: Your conversation will flow more smoothly and you’ll be more present and will enjoy it more – and when you’re enjoying it more, the person you are interviewing will tell you more about memorable times.
 
Be Interested: The more you want to learn, the more your person will want to share. In my experience, as soon as I say, “I’ve got all the information I need,” and reach to turn off your recording device, your person will say something wonderful that you are going to want to capture, so keep recording until you are out the door.
 
Once you’ve transcribed your interview, you’ll want to extract one to three examples that best illustrate the rich character of the person you want to praise.
 

Keep to the winning Tasteful Toasts formula (be brief, be bold, be done) and you’ll have beautiful outcome.
 
*Kauai Stories is filled with rich personal stories culled using the above interview techniques. Special thank you to Pamela Brown for her expert contributions.

Your turn: What actions have you recently praised? 

Birthday One Liners aka Birth Mirth

Birthdays happen every year          
You can toast with pithy cheer
Take your time
Learn one line
It’s a precious souvenir

Far too often I hear tributes that sting like the spank on your tush the day you were born. Yes, I’m referring to old age jokes. For example:

- “The twinkle in your eye is the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.”
- “You’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it.”
- “Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.”
- “A benefit of being older is that you’re safe from being kidnapped.”
- “In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.”

While those lines might be funny (and possibly true), I have found saying something a bit more tasteful and witty can provide more memory mileage for a treasured moment.

Here are my top ten birthday one-liners to better celebrate your milestone:
10.  We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
9.  Statistics show that the people who have the most birthdays live the longest.
8.  You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
7.  Think of hot flashes as your inner child playing with matches.
6.  You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years of experience.
5.  Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
4.  You’re like a fine wine; you get better with age.
3.  Age doesn’t matter, unless you are cheese.
2.  The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
1.  It is better to wear out than to rust out.

I believe in celebrating your birthday…all week, month or even an entire year. It’s important to have twinkles in your wrinkles. As Mark Twain once wrote, “Wrinkles merely indicate where smiles have been.”

Related articles:
Hazardous HumorTasteful Wedding One LinersOne Liners for Lovers

Bonus Stephen Wright Joke:
Last week the candle factory burned down;
Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday. 

Your turn: What are your favorite and positive birthday jokes, quotes or one-liners?

Make a Family Toast a Tradition

After having a fabulous day, or even a stressful one, reconnecting with your family can lift spirits and energize one and all – an excellent reason to increase the frequency of a family toast beyond the annual Thanksgiving meal. It’s a lesson we can learn from our past, repeat in the present in order to make a brighter future.

Past

The Greek Philosopher Epictetus (AD 55 – AD 135) offered, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

If rejoicing is done only once a year, many-a-wonderful triumphs, small and large, would be easily forgotten.

Present

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around,” said famed country singer Willie Nelson.

Being openly thankful all year long adds value to your life and sharing even the simplest experiences make us all feel a little closer.

Future

Start the tradition of a family toast once a week – your choice of day, and let them know what you’re thankful for. Fill a pitcher with your family’s favorite drink then clink.

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.” - Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC)

Your turn: What is your favorite family toast?

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright November 2011 Magical Concepts.

Anniversary Anagrams

A puzzling word tribute to the one you love.

There are hundreds of ways to show your love and as a professional presenter, magician, and enchanted husband I offer these anniversary anagrams to my wife, whom I cherish. Please adapt and share this tribute with the significant person in your life.

an·a·gram (an-uh-gram)

An anagram is a word cipher game where you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to discover a secret message. And since my wife is a writer, I’ll begin with a literary example: Rearranging “A decimal point” to create “I'm a dot in place.”

Marriage is a journey where you write your own adventures one day at a time, like the pages in a book. Coincidentally “filling a novel” is an anagram for "Falling in love."

From her current mystery novel, one of her characters might say in, "You one valid girl" translates to, "I love you, darling."

And as we pursue our hearts desires, together, I support her with all that I can. Some would say I’m “A dream loan-giver,” which is an anagram for “Love and Marriage.”

We’ve been together for more than a dozen wonderful years and people ask us what is our secret – I call that type of person a “Life admirer” which is our secret anagram for “Married life.”

Some would say, “Hmm! A cavalier,” but that’s just an anagram for “Michael Varma” and I’m “the married man,” which translates to “I'm her darn mate!”

That’s my “Tasteful Toasts” article or “stout fast tales” for the month.

So, when you’re “In Love,” – an anagram for “Live on” – I recommend you continue to do so with passion.

[Many thanks to www.anagramgenius.com for making me look like a genius.]

Your turn: Share your favorite anagram or tasteful tribute to the one you love.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2011 Magical Concepts.

Be Warm, Witty and Wise

Learn the three components of a tasteful toast.

As a professional magician and frequent attendee of social gatherings, I believe toasting is one of the easiest ways to turn an ordinary party into an extraordinary celebration. I’ve witnessed how a few spoken words can enhance an evening, enchant guests and promote re-telling of stories about the special event, starting with the toast. You, too, can convey your own magical message by learning the three components of a tasteful toast: Be warm. Be witty. Be wise.

Be Warm

In the popular 1970’s television show Fantasy Island, Mr. Roarke, played by Ricardo Montalbán, warmly greeted his guests in order to set them at ease. He’d say, “Good afternoon everyone, I am Mr. Roarke, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.”

We can learn from our history of the mini silver screen. If Mr. Roarke’s simple and genuine introduction worked well for six seasons – 158 episodes – then we can follow the script, too. Address the audience, introduce yourself and provide a sincere welcome.

Be Witty

After the hospitable welcome, people will pause for a few moments to listen for more information. For example, “Dinner is served in the main room. Please take your seats.” In my experience, this is an excellent time to proffer a brief humorous observation.

Below are a few generic funnies:

• All our guests make us happy; some by coming and others by going.

• Home: the place where you’re treated the best and grumble the most.

• Never eat more than you can lift.

Be Wise

Next comes sage advice. What to say will vary depending on the wisdom to impart on the occasion: birthday, wedding, divorce (yes, that’s true!), baby shower, new job, or promotion. Quotes, proverbs, Tasteful Toasts, or writing words from the heart offers a vast array of appropriate remarks.

• Baby: To the new parents, who are about to enter a “changing” world!

• Promotion: May the work that you have be the play that you love.

• Divorce: Always remember that hindsight is the best insight to foresight.

Put it all together and you’ll have three sentences – one warm, one witty and one wise:

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is Michael Varma and I am your emcee for the evening. Welcome to Captain Sunny’s retirement party. He’s a man who knows everything and now has plenty of time to tell you all about it. Sunny, remember it’s not the years in your life, but the life in your years.”

Practice your lines a couple of times to ensure a steady delivery, then let the festivities begin!

M

ichael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright April 2011 Magical Concepts.

Exercise Your Rights

Achieving balance during the holidays

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve! Oh my! How did Dorothy keep her girlish figure during the holidays? Jazzercise! She and her gaggle of friends danced down the yellow brick road to the hip tunes of the day. Well, that and she didn’t have multiple family gatherings and office parties with tempting high calorie treats to increase her waistline. But if Dorothy and her merry band did participate in the year-end food-o-rama, they’d provide the following tips for enjoying the holiday season without gaining weight.

Exercise

“We've been walking a long ways.” ~ Dorothy Gale

The trek to the Emerald City was accomplished by walking every single day. And research from the National Health Services shows that walking 10,000 steps a day will significantly improve your health. Whether you walk, jog, bicycle or swim, daily physical activity will relieve stress and burn up extra calories and can balance out some holiday meals.

Friends

“My, my goodness -- I can talk again!” ~ Tin Woodsman

Although food can be a big part of the season, it doesn’t have to be the focus. Holidays are a wonderful time to reunite with your buddies, share stories and give thanks. Friends have (healthy) benefits, so take advantage of the gathering to speak from the heart and offer a tasteful toast to your friends:

You are unique, morals sublime.
Character rich, one of a kind.

Maintenance

“Ain't it the truth!” ~ Cowardly Lion

A realistic goal is weight maintenance versus weight loss during the holidays. Make reasonable food choices and you’ll succeed – the foundation of the Weight Watchers food plan. If you’re still worried about the tempting treats, avoid arriving famished at the celebration. Have the courage to eat a light meal before leaving the house – a cup of soup or cheese and crackers on the stomach can help you resist sampling everything at a potluck party.

Sensible

“Oh, joy, rapture! I've got a brain!” ~ Scarecrow

It’s okay to eat. Remember moderation. And there are plenty of low fat and low calorie recipes posted online that are truly tasty. Try using applesauce in place of oil in your favorite holiday breads or make pumpkin brownies, which are yummy and contain fiber – a helpful tip from Hungry-Girl.com.

To find the Wizard of Oz and achieve their heart’s desire, Dorothy and her friends possessed the necessary resources: brains, heart and courage. You, too, can use your brain to avoid known personal food triggers, talk from your heart to reconnect with your friends and have the courage to exercise in order to enjoy the holiday season without gaining weight.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright November 2010 Magical Concepts.

Wedded Words

What to write in a wedding thank you note

Wedding gift thank you notes should not be tossed away like the bridal bouquet and written with a hasty hand. Nor need they be effusive eight-page essays of how you couldn’t live without the silver-plated serving platter. Crafting sincere words of gratitude is easy when you follow the three Rs of thank you note etiquette: reference, reason and regard.

Reference

After the salutation, simply reference the present itself. “Thank you for the collector’s edition of Star Trek Pez dispensors.” Naming the specific item avoids the faux pas of using the generic term of “gift” – that’s like saying, “I’m just not that into you.”

If you don’t recall what was given, an inquiring phone call is the best solution. Mention that during transport, a few cards and gifts were separated and you’d like to finish writing your thank you notes. Most wedding witnesses will understand and enjoy the story.

Reason

Select a favorite feature or overall positive quality of the present and write a complimentary remark. One sentence will do. Answer one of these two questions: Why do you like it? How will you use it? “I saw the T-shirt jersey sheets on Oprah and know they’ll keep us warm at night.”

While Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, sometimes gifts arrive from former planet Pluto. On the occasion where a present doesn’t appeal to your earthly tastes, focus on the generosity of the gift giver or the craftsmanship of the product. “The serpentine stone sculpture from Zimbabwe is quite elegant.”

Regard

It’s most important to acknowledge the person than the gift. The closing sentence is best centered on your relationship with an honest expression of appreciation. “We were honored to have you join us and celebrate our special day – your gift was an unexpected bonus.”

Be truthful. Be positive. Be kind.

So whether you open your presents before or after your honeymoon, it’s good form to write thank you notes in a timely manner. Remember the three Rs (reference, reason, and regard) and you’ll remain under the magical newlywed spell for years to come.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2010 Magical Concepts.

A Toast to Teamwork

The U.S. Labor Day holiday is a few weeks away and it’s traditionally known as the busiest barbecue day of the year to celebrate with your chums. It’s a time to thank ’em for helping you move you into that new house, painting the fence and feeding the cat. You might have a few friends that you can call up at a moment’s notice for a favor and they’ll be there – just as you’d be for them. Together you make a terrific team and now’s the time to tell them.

That was the case when my wife and I purchased a bargain at the home consignment store – a solid cherry wood dining room table with tasteful inlays and six hand-carved chairs. Loading the pieces into my truck went smoothly, with the assistance of the store’s furniture movers, but when we got home the table proved far too heavy for my wife to help me lift out of the truck and carry into the empty room.

“Regis, I’d like to phone a friend.”

In mere minutes our ladies were chatting, directing and designing while we, the muscle-bound men, dutifully navigated the timber through the front door. Pure teamwork. Our male and female dynamic duos transformed a troublesome task into a fun and victorious adventure. We had to toast our triumph and our friendship.

A couple of weeks later, an informal barbecue spread lay on our new and stately table and we raised our glasses high. The time had come to thank our friends and eat off the fruits of our labor. Here’s the toast I offered for the occasion:

We appreciate your brains and braun,
Twelve hours past the crack of dawn.
Without your muscles to call upon,
We’d be dinning on our front lawn.

The Greek playwright Euripides wrote, “One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” During our time of need, with no family around, that’s an apt statement.

So, whether you celebrate with steak and beers or wine and cheese, always remember to show gratitude to your comrade in arms. For they are your buddies, your pals – who keep you from harm.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright August 2010 Magical Concepts.

Webcams: Today’s Techno-Tool

A new generation of online communication

Videoconferencing is not just for large corporations anymore. Small companies use it, sole proprieters use it, and yes, mom and dad use it, too. Whether people pay for a hi-tech interactive telecommunication boardroom or use free software such as Skype, which runs on a home computer, online communication has entered a new era.

Star Trek boldly went wireless in the mid 1960s with handheld communicators, but it was the video-intercom jumbo-tron on the bridge of the Enterprise that ensured a successful mission. Whether you’re presenting a webinar or posting a podcast in real time streaming video, it’s good to remember the three Ps – Posture, Position and Pronunciation – so you, too, can be as victorious as Captain Kirk.

Posture
Onscreen slouching can cause Quasimoto to become green with envy when the camera visually adds “those ten pounds” to your hunched back. To avoid being confused for that famous ringer, do as your parents or drill sergeant ordered: head up, shoulders back and chest out.
Sitting correctly prevents back pain and contributes to a good appearance. Your confidence will grow and people will take you more seriously. Remember: James Tiberius Kirk always sat tall in his captain’s chair.

Position
Camera position is key. Too far away and you’ll look like a midget. Too close and folks will focus on your nose hair. Get it just right – an appropriate mix of upper body and minimal background – and you’ll be admired by millions of cyber-fans and Andorians alike.

Place the webcam about 36 inches from where you’ll sit so the microphone can still acquire your voice. Zoom in and focus on yourself. Verify the screen is filled proportionately and that there’s enough room to show hand gestures, display props, like a book, or complete a demonstration.

Pronunciation
Warm up with the tongue twister and say, “There’s terrible trouble with Tribbles,” three times clearly enunciating each syllable before you turn on your techno-tool and broadcast in broadband. Slight transmission delays and tinny sounds from tiny computer speakers, might squelch your voice. Speak slowly and clearly so you sound intelligent and not like a Klingon ordering zilm'kach!(a small apricot).

Record yourself saying a small speech and then play it back. Close your eyes and listen. After you stop laughing at how different your voice sounds to yourself, play it one more time and pay attention to the pronunciation of the words. Practice until you’re satisfied your peeps will find value in your vocalizations.

Is cyberspace the final frontier? No, but it is a strange new world where full facial features and body language are seen by new generations of family, friends, customers and potential clients. Buckle in the three Ps (posture, position and pronunciation) before you “Engage!” at warp speed.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit http://www.michaelvarma.com/. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright March 2010 Magical Concepts.

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What to be Said After They’re Wed?

Two topics for an appropriate anniversary toast

Remember that merry day of matrimony? It seemed like only last year the happy couple went willingly down the aisle toward wedded bliss. Some may have been “coaxed,” but the fact remains it’s their anniversary – time to celebrate another successful 52 weeks of togetherness. In addition to giving her a Nordstrom shopping spree and him a flat screen TV, an appropriate verbal gift is to remind them why they said “I do.”

Toasting Topic #1: Equality
Reminisce how the bride and groom, each strong and stable on their own, now function in the divine interdependency of marriage – a worthy status according to Oprah and Psychology Today. Cite examples, then and now, of how this dynamic duo balance work and play and still has time to save the planet.

Their equally-matched talents are what make them the perfect pair. Take the initiative and share your memories of how this man and wife improve the quality of your life, making it a priceless gift indeed.

Suggested Toast #1
With one look into your eyes
You cannot disguise
Your zest for life
As man and wife

Toasting Topic #2: Harmony
Some couples complement each other extremely well, like the bass and treble clefs on piano sheet music. Together these love birds make a marvelous marriage melody. Their passion can only be labeled a la the classic movie The Princess Bride as “twue love.”

Obvious mutual affection and respect between this twosome are easily noted and need not be labored with a long-winded anecdote. Best to skip directly to the toast, followed by dessert.

Suggested Toast #2
You are blessed from above
With devotion and love
I have a good notion
To second His motion
We bid you good cheers
Partners in love for many more years

From the first wedding anniversary to the twenty-fifth and beyond, share your observations with your family, friends and guests with a tasteful toast. Rejoice in their successful union and take pride in reminding folks attending the celebration why a happy man and wife make a happy span of life.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit http://www.michaelvarma.com/. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2009 Magical Concepts.

Birthday Bandits

Learn how to prevent partygoers from stealing the spotlight


Celebrating a friend’s birthday is a good thing, but taking the attention away from the honoree can be criminal. Sometimes naturally chatty folks and professional speakers “accidentally” steal the stage when their dutiful place is in the audience clapping and cheering their comrade for surviving another 365 days. Whether you’re the host of the party, best friend or guest, you can politely thwart these thieves by giving them a temporary spotlight then refocusing the beam of light upon your birthday buddy.

Let Them Eat Cake
After a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday” at a coworker’s 50th party, a fellow associate, a Martha Stewart wanna-be, brought the festivities to a screeching halt exclaiming how she made the cake from scratch. “And the frosting, too,” she exclaimed and then she droned on and about how the eggs were organic and the milk came from local cows and her ump-teen years of cooking experience made her the best chef in the company.

While some of this information was interesting (and presented well), why did she tell us? What was her point? Beyond showcasing her talents, it was her way of expressing how much she cares for her long-time friend and how she took the extra time to bake him a cake. The easiest course of action, so you can eat that awesome organic cake, would be to publicly thank her for the labor of love then turn the limelight on the guest of honor: “Gladys, your time was well spent cause we know Bob, our resident birthday boy, loves cake. We appreciate your efforts and look forward to the tasty treat.”

Raise Your Glass
After wishes have been made and the flames extinguished, silence ensues while the cake is cut and served. This is a perfect opportunity to offer a tasteful toast. But frequently a gabby groupie will pounce upon the stillness and fill the airwaves with long-winded “best bud” adventure stories. When the tall tale becomes embarrassing, as they often do, you need a lighthearted segue. Seize the moment by clinking a glass to gather the guests’ attention and share your brief comments to keep the party on track. A simple option is to offer a toast, for example:

Tenderly we joke and tease
Candles blown out with a wheeze
Sharing in your birthday feast
We wish you 50 more - at least!

Almost any carefree or humorous transition can bridge the gap until forks are poised over slices of cake to feed fellow partygoers.

Proper Present Protocol
The most common scene stealer is the present pessimist. This is the person who constantly comments on every gift as it’s unwrapped: “I got one of those and it didn’t work,” “Uncle Maury had one and it broke the first time he use it,” “That’s adorable but I doubt it would fit you.” Such comments might be truthful or even funny at the time, but these words wound offending both gifter and giftee. Ask this most vocal visitor to be the list maker and write down the name of the gift and giver so the recipient can send thank you notes after the party – it’s a good use of their energy.

Do these tips deputize you as the party police? Do you have to maintain a constant vigil for birthday bandits at every celebration? No and no. The ultimate goal is to have a good time and remember it’s their special day, not yours. Make the guest of honor feel, well, honored and bask yourself in the afterglow.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit http://www.michaelvarma.com/.

Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright March 2009 Magical Concepts.

Passionate Presentations

Speak from the heart and become wealthy

When you give a brief heartfelt wedding toast, you are paid in appreciation, kindness and gratitude. If you give a lecture with the same caring conviction, you’ll be showered with applause and cash for a job well done. Both types of speeches create exhilaration and contentment. The key is to lead with love.

Tender Talk
It may seem surprising to compare newlywed wishes with a corporate seminar, but mixing business and pleasure can make a winning combination. When you offer words of wisdom to a young couple, you’re sharing thoughts from the heart based upon your own experiences in hopes they’ll have a brighter future. As a sincere speaker you make an honest connection with the crowd, convey a message that will inspire, energize or call folks to action and they comprehend that you care. And when the light bulbs brighten over their inquisitive heads, your heart and chest will swell with satisfaction.

Discover Hidden Talents
Finding the right words for a tasteful toast or narrowing your niche for a passionate and powerful topic to place you squarely on the speaker’s circuit may take time. One way to tap into your talents is to turn the tables: pretend you’re on the receiving end of the presentation. What would you want to hear? Determine what would help or inspire you then write it down.

Brainstorm with your spouse, mentor or best friend and identify key elements that made a difference in your life. Use the top three points from your list and prepare a speech. Reread. Rewrite. Rehearse. When it is time to present, your earnestness will be evident and your voice will naturally project the passion.

For Love or Money?
Successful seasoned speakers frequently say they get paid for doing something they love: sharing their thoughts and ideas so people can better themselves. It’s almost criminal. As a professional magician, I have frequent opportunities to apply my craft in public and private. On a long plane flight to my next show I watched a mother in the adjacent seat desperately try to quiet her cranky child. Fellow passengers were clearly fed up and would do anything to make the kid shut up – er, I mean, be quiet. I leaned across the aisle and pulled out a long thin balloon from my pocket and captured the little one’s attention. Within 60 seconds I made a cute pink poodle balloon animal and released the inner cabin pressure. I was instantly the wealthiest person on the plane.

I shared the story with my audience later that night and received joyous hoots and hollers. A heckler tried to barge into the act and I asked, “Do you need a pink poodle, too?” I got the laughs and my interloper was effectively shut down. Does it get any better? Sure does, because I got paid to have fun.

Take your favor topic and present it passionately and sincerely. Should you do it for the principle or gorgeous greenbacks? I say: Both. Your heart will sing with satisfaction – a priceless feeling – and any material response beyond that inner tune will add to your wealth.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit http://www.michaelvarma.com/.

Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright February 2009 Magical Concepts.

O Christmas Sneeze, O Christmas Sneeze

Are you allergic to the holiday spirit?


Before the last trick-or-treater goes to sleep, retail elves start decking the shopping malls with holiday gifts. When Christmas usurps Halloween it’s easy to feel saturated with holiday cheer and become prematurely filled with the bah-humbugs. By the time Black Friday rolls around the day after Thanksgiving, you’re primed to knock over little old ladies and their walkers to get your loved ones the latest techno-gizmo. Clearly you’re in no shape to shop. Best to apply some mental medicine and fortify your immune system so you’re in the proper frame of mind.

Point of View
As a professional performer, I live the cliché “the show must go on” and know what’s truly vital is to maintain a healthy attitude. Several years ago I was booked to do a magic show at UCLA and made the mistake of having a cup of college coffee. The brew was so strong my hands shook like a workman operating a jackhammer. I could barely shuffle a deck of cards, but my audience didn’t care. They wanted to be entertained. If I were in a movie, it would be the pivotal scene where the hero (that’s me – played by Hugh Jackman) must decide what to do: run away to perform another day or levitate beyond the jolt of java coursing through my body. I chose to reveal my caffeine quandary. Coeds and tenured professors started to laugh with (and at) me all the way through my show. I learned two important lessons: stay away from college coffee and adopt a positive attitude for a positive outcome.

Proper Perspective
Google “positive attitude” and the Internet will return more than 11 million references in less than one second. There are hundreds of articles, quotes, books, essays, games, affirmations and poems devoted to this topic, but all share one basic theme: only you have the power to choose your ’tude.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
Winston Churchill

“There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.”
William Bennett

“A human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”
William James

Rudolph Rage
Going to your “happy place” seems to be more of a challenge especially when faced with long seasonal checkout lines and even longer holiday traffic conditions. How do you release the pressure and return to your jolly jingle?

Breathe.

A well known speaker’s relaxation technique, proven to reduce tension and anxiety, is deep abdominal breathing. Relax your stomach muscles and slowly inhale a deep breath through your nose for five seconds completely filling lungs. Then exhale through the mouth. Most presenters repeat this process three times to get the desired effect – a calm body and clear head in less than 30 seconds.

You can complete this temperance trick in a car, in a bar, or in a line hopefully before you whine. My reference to Dr. Seuss has a point hidden within the rhyme. You can change your attitude anytime.

So while corporate America is out making a few bucks, it’s important to remember that clerks are just doing their jobs, taking your cash, check or charge. And when they say, “Have a nice day,” “Happy Holidays,” or whatever the latest politically correct phrase is, accept it with a smile. Better yet, take a deep breath, get some latitude in your attitude and wish them a Happy New Year!


Until next time,

Michael


Copyright December 2008 Magical Concepts
Contact the author for permission to reprint

Turkeys Gone Wild: Putting the thanks back into Thanksgiving

Pa Kettle sits at the crowded family table, removes his hat, looks up to Heaven and says, “Much obliged, Lord.” A classic scene from the 1957 film, The Kettles on Old MacDonald's Farm. In my younger years, I was always fond of “For this plate of food, we thank the Holy Dude.” Now with more than a dash of salt in my hair and a family of my own, Thanksgiving toasts have more significance because I know the difference between turkeys gone wild and gone for Wild Turkey. Fortunately, we can find wisdom and brevity in our history to remind us how to properly pay our respects.

After reaffirming Thanksgiving Day in 1863, President Lincoln was reported to have quoted one of his favorite authors, Robert Burns, and offered the following toast: “Dare to be honest and fear no labor.” Sobering words said in the midst of the Civil War and on the heels of the Emancipation Proclamation.


A month after the attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt rallied the nation in a 1941 Congressional speech and set Norman Rockwell to illustrate the four basic freedoms: “…every person is entitled to the freedom of speech, freedom to worship, freedom from want, and the freedom from fear.” Rockwell’s painting, The Freedom from Want, also known as Thanksgiving Dinner, shows the connection to family and returning to old values.

Goals were set forth by President Kennedy during a Veterans’ Day ceremony in 1963: “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

This annual meal-time moment is a key opportunity to share from the heart and show appreciation from kin to God. So before offering your Thanksgiving toast this year and every year thereafter, take a few minutes and reflect. What and who do you appreciate? Tell them and help put the thanks back into Thanksgiving.

From my book Tasteful Toasts I offer a universal blessing which can be used on Thanksgiving Day or any meal time:

I've been asked by our gracious host
To raise my glass and offer a toast
Traveling from North, South, West or East
We partake in this bountiful feast
Whether surrounded by family or friend
We thank the Lord and say Amen


Until next time,


Michael


Copyright November 2008 Magical Concepts

Contact the author for permission to reprint

The Tao of Meow: Purr like a cat and your voice will roar

Did you know your friendly feline’s vibrational purr and breathing pattern can improve your speaking skills? Really. Scientists have determined a cat's purr measures between 20 and 50 hertz, which can ease your stomach pain, promote bone growth, boost immune systems, and reduce stress. Cat owners will agree a content cat in the lap generates a warm purring sensation that induces relaxation. Humans can mimic similar purring sounds through simple vocal exercises to produce a stronger, more resonant voice.

The first step in building a more powerful and captivating voice involves Zen Cat’s language rule number one: The better you breathe, the better you speak. To begin, my young kittens, you must understand how a word is heard. Air is inhaled into the lungs, pushed up from the diaphragm through the throat, and out the nose and mouth. Add a vibration (purr) to the air flow and a sound is produced – the speaking voice. The Tao of Meow focuses on the three resonating chambers: throat, nose, and mouth.

Throat
Start by saying one syllable words with ONG, like song, tong, bong, or pong. Use your fingertips to feel either side of your throat, just below the jaw line. The vibrations you feel can project your voice across a long horizontal distance, propelling it to the back of a large room.

Nose
Hold your nose with minimal pressure and hum AWN words (pawn, lawn, fawn). This nasal frequency assists with vertical distance when you want to SHOUT to the rafters.

Mouth
Close your mouth and lightly press your finger to your lips as in the international sign for quiet. Now hum UM words (hum, sum, rum) and feel your lips buzz with electricity. Your oral resonance chamber is where pronunciation and clarity of words form.

Practice humming or saying ONG, AWN, and UM words six times until you can pronounce each sound with maximum effect. Each sound can be used separately to create a desired effect, but blend all three frequencies together, and you will produce a powerful voice that can go the distance.

These techniques are also known to reduce tension in your neck, shoulders, and chest, which can unleash your natural voice. When you control your breath, you take control of your speaking voice. You’ll improve your ability to roar upon command and make your audience purr.


Until next time,

Michael

Copyright August 2008 Magical Concepts
Contact the author for permission to reprint

Shouting Secrets Softly Helps (Sssh)

“Come a little closer and I’ll tell you a magician’s secret to capturing the eyes and ears of an audience,” I said to my young apprentice. He leaned forward and in a low conspiratorial tone I said, “Whisper loudly.”

He looked at me like I had lost my mind.

I tried again, this time sounding like Yoda from Star Wars: “Those who cannot hear an angry shout may strain to hear a whisper.” He nodded his head like an old sage in a youthful body, but I could see he was more focused on remembering which movie the line originated from. I didn’t have the heart to tell him the wise words came from another pointy-eared sci fi icon named Spock of the famed Star Trek television series.

It’s human nature to want the inside scoop and keep ahead of the competition. Say you’ll reveal a secret and people will listen. Determine the size of your crowd and modulate your voice for the greatest impact. Here’s how:

12 or less listeners
Speak quietly to this intimate group with low conversational tones and you’ll put them on the edge of their seats. Add a little body language by leaning toward the group’s inner circle then begin speaking to the folks in your personal cone of silence.

24 people packed in a room
This size crowd puts you in presentation mode. Raise your vocal volume a few notches and whisper loudly. Take a deep breath and speak like you’re spreading some gossip you want to be overheard.

48 or more seats fillers
You are the star of the show for this audience and performance level material is needed from your voice to project “soft” shouts to the proverbial back row. Fill your lungs with air and talk from the back of your throat. This technique is similar to a whisper but with a stronger push from your diaphragm – practice may be required. Large seated engagements frequently supply a microphone, so speak into the mike and follow the suggestions for 12 or less listeners.

Vocal variety is necessary in every speech. Adding a little verbal cloak-and-dagger by shouting secrets softly helps engage your audience. Adjust your voice according to the size of the group and you’ll have listeners leaning in your direction.

Until next time,
Michael

Copyright August 2008 Magical Concepts
Contact the author for permission to reprint

How to Combat AADD

Blame the Internet, Nintendo, or global warming but I believe Audience Attention Deficit Disorder (AADD) spawns from gluttony. Multi-tasking audiences want their popcorn, candy, soda, exercise, health, wealth, and vitamins, too, all while being entertained and getting their cars washed. You can deliver a peppy presentation and avoid a catatonic crowd by answering the following question:

What does your audience want from you?
___ To be trained
___ To be informed
___ To be persuaded
___ To be entertained
_X_ All of the above

Being aware of what your audience wants and knowing the type of people who are staring at you is essential. This information will tip the knowledge scales in your direction so you, too, can check off “All of the above.”

Make Them Care
Perhaps you recently published a book. Hurray for you. Nobody really cares until you explain why they need your book and how it is better than any other book available at Barnes and Noble, Borders, or Amazon. Even though people might have read a flier, signed up for the meeting, or were personally invited to hear you speak, your job is to capture and maintain their interest.

Start by stating the purpose of your speech. Obvious? Maybe. But once you step outside of the secure Toastmasters environment and present in public forums you’ll encounter last minute walk-ins, guests of attendees, employees at the meeting place, and other impromptu visitors who may not be as forgiving as your fellow Toastmaster members.

Design your presentation to fit the age, gender, occupation, and education level of the audience. Help make the connection between your subject and your listeners’ point of view so that they will understand and care.

For example, if you were giving a talk on how to spend twenty dollars, your approach would differ depending on the most prevalent age group in your audience:

Senior: Twenty dollars can pay for an early bird dinner special
Adult: Andrew Jackson will buy you four gallons of gas
Teenager: You and a friend can see a movie matinee for twenty bucks
Child: Buy a candy bar and invest the rest for your college tuition

AADD can challenge even the most experienced presenter, but I challenge you to take a few minutes to get to know your audience and what they want to hear. When you do, you’ll keep their attention for your entire presentation.

Until next time,

Michael


Copyright July 2008 Magical Concepts
Contact the author for permission to reprint