One-Liners for Lovers

Toasting to the ones you love.

By Michael Varma

I recently read a wedding speech book that promised readers how to get laughs, but in my humble opinion, it was geared more for roasting the couple than toasting newlyweds.

Wedding toasts should be positive as this is a new life for the couple. Remarks can still be funny. Read my opinion about Tasteful Wedding One-Liners.

Here are a dozen of my favorite one-liners for lovers – perfect for weddings, anniversaries or other romantic celebrations:

1. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. ~ Lynda Barry

2. Love is a game that two can play and both win. ~ Eva Gabor

3. Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life.

4. Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame. ~ Henry David Thoreau

5. You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

6. We’re here to celebrate the love match, pure and simple:
Barbara is pure and Michael is…a very nice guy.

7. Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

8. Love is not singular except in syllable. ~ Marvin Taylor

9. The first time he saw her swimming in the sea he thought she was worth wading for.

10. Live each day as if it were your last, and each night as if it were your first.

11. Love one another and you will be happy; it's as simple and as difficult as that.

12. If you’re smart, you’ll always have the last word; if you’re wise you won’t use it.

Bonus – brief marriage jokes:

If love is blind and marriage is an institution, then marriage is an institution for the blind. Which leads me to my next question, if love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Your turn: What’s your favorite one-liner for lovers?

Michael Varma, is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty...by his cat. He has authored a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), earned his Distinguished Toastmaster designation and recently penned a mystery novel. Michael frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

You can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

Praising in Public

Learn the three Ps of a polished presenter

Most of us, if we’re honest with ourselves, have a little voice inside that wants us to compliment a coworker at a party and say, “You did a great job,” or “I appreciate your help,” but we’re afraid of appearing foolish or saying something embarrassing. That’s normal. Then we watch a seemingly fearless facilitator stand up at the gathering and convey with conviction similar thoughts. We think to ourselves, “I could have said that.” Yes, that’s normal, too. Transform into that polished presenter by following the three Ps: prepare, present, and prevail.

Prepare

To prevent flubbed lines, focus on how your coworker assisted you personally or professionally. Select one instance and summarize the situation, solution, and your satisfaction with the end result.

Pretend you’re in front of the party-goers and say your brief praise out loud. Tell it to your significant other – whether they are two or four legged – this minimal practice will calm most stomach squalls. Silly as it may seem, verbalizing your mini-speech, even to an audience of one will make a huge difference. When my wife’s unavailable then my cat plays second fiddle and listens to me practice (in between her naps and meals).

Present

One of the best times to premiere your praise is right after everyone has assembled and if at a restaurant after folks order their meals. Visualize success and present like you rehearsed.

For example, “My boss needed a chart created for a meeting in ten minutes and I didn’t know how to do it. Bob was able to show me in less than two minutes. I appreciate his help. Thanks, Bob.”

Prevail

A perfect presentation or not, you will be admired for taking a risk and showing genuine gratitude. The next time you give a pat on the back it will become easier. Both you and the recipient will fill with pride.

I recently complimented a co-worker, “Your summary of the project was quite good. You presented a nice high-level overview, touched upon several key points, and concluded with next action steps. I found it very help and informative.” My associate felt good with the recognition and I was delighted with myself for boldly following through with my remark. Reminds me of a quote by the writer and editor Margaret Cousins, "Appreciation can make a day - even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."

Far too often people’s achievements are overlooked or worse, expected. A few words of acknowledgement in front of your peers will boost everyone’s moral. Follow the three Ps of a polished presenter (prepare, present, prevail) and you’ll prosper at praising in public.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright April 2010 Magical Concepts.

Delight Your Guests

Three steps of giving a dinner-time toast

Speaking off the cuff is acceptable for a dinner-time toast, but you might fail to find the right words to say as hungry eyes focus on you. You’ll stand tongue-tied with your “ums” and “ahs” while your chums begin to chat with one another giving you time to gather your thoughts. By the time you’re ready, the moment’s gone. Knowing when and what to say is key to your success, so follow the three Ds: Draft, Decide, and Deliver and all will be delicious.

Draft
Today’s listeners expect clarity, especially from a host. You must communicate openly with your audience or you’ll lose their attention. A simple action plan needs to take place before you raise your glass. So, like a good little boy or girl scout, be prepared.

Take the time to draft a tasteful toast. Write words that express the joy you feel when you’re with your dinner guests. Let them know how much you appreciate their friendship. It’s easier to sketch out a dash of humor now, in the solitude of your own home, than in the bustling background of a restaurant.

Decide
Now a days there are no hard rules when to give a toast but there are two natural delays in the dining action you can take advantage of: before dinner or before dessert. After the waiter takes your order, there will be a few seconds of silence as he makes a beeline to the chef in the kitchen. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to determine which opportunity is a better fit to addresses your companions.

Giving a toast before the main meal, at an informal gathering, will set the tone for the evening and conversations will originate from your positive proclamation. Often this type of toast suggests, “The future is ours” and “Let’s get this party started.”

Saying a few words prior to the post-dinner delicacies (that’s fancy talk for “before dessert”) is an ideal way to recap conversations and toast your friends. Typically, this type of toast indicates the evening’s festivities are coming to a close.

Deliver
Instead of tapping a spoon against a glass to capture everyone’s attention, simply stand up at the table. Conversations will cease and all eyes will focus on you. The stage is set and it’s time to deliver your complimentary message.

It’s best to memorize your mini-speech and look at the folks around the table. But if you have to use notes, rest assured your friends will understand. Speak loud enough so your guests can hear you over any music, conversation or other distractions. When done, raise and clink your glass and take a sip before you sit down.

A special occasion deserves clear communication. A little preparation will help you deliver your heartfelt message. Remember the three Ds (Draft, Decide, and Deliver) and your dinner-time toast will disarm, denote, and delight.

I recently had an opportunity to share my sincere thoughts with a group of professional writers dining at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, and offered this toast:

For my literary friends I decided to write,
a brand new toast to deliver tonight.

I appreciate your humor, I appreciate your wit.
I appreciate your candor, so happy, I should sit.

But I stand humbled and proud,
To be associated with such an infamous crowd.

We are all varied – an eclectic blend,
I’m fortunate to call each one of you friend.

Top Row: Tim, David, Diana, Michael, Barbara, and Nicole
Bottom Row: Maki, Cory, Jillian, Beth, Brian and Brian.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com.

Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright November 2009 Magical Concepts.

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What to be Said After They’re Wed?

Two topics for an appropriate anniversary toast

Remember that merry day of matrimony? It seemed like only last year the happy couple went willingly down the aisle toward wedded bliss. Some may have been “coaxed,” but the fact remains it’s their anniversary – time to celebrate another successful 52 weeks of togetherness. In addition to giving her a Nordstrom shopping spree and him a flat screen TV, an appropriate verbal gift is to remind them why they said “I do.”

Toasting Topic #1: Equality
Reminisce how the bride and groom, each strong and stable on their own, now function in the divine interdependency of marriage – a worthy status according to Oprah and Psychology Today. Cite examples, then and now, of how this dynamic duo balance work and play and still has time to save the planet.

Their equally-matched talents are what make them the perfect pair. Take the initiative and share your memories of how this man and wife improve the quality of your life, making it a priceless gift indeed.

Suggested Toast #1
With one look into your eyes
You cannot disguise
Your zest for life
As man and wife

Toasting Topic #2: Harmony
Some couples complement each other extremely well, like the bass and treble clefs on piano sheet music. Together these love birds make a marvelous marriage melody. Their passion can only be labeled a la the classic movie The Princess Bride as “twue love.”

Obvious mutual affection and respect between this twosome are easily noted and need not be labored with a long-winded anecdote. Best to skip directly to the toast, followed by dessert.

Suggested Toast #2
You are blessed from above
With devotion and love
I have a good notion
To second His motion
We bid you good cheers
Partners in love for many more years

From the first wedding anniversary to the twenty-fifth and beyond, share your observations with your family, friends and guests with a tasteful toast. Rejoice in their successful union and take pride in reminding folks attending the celebration why a happy man and wife make a happy span of life.

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Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit http://www.michaelvarma.com/. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2009 Magical Concepts.

Turkeys Gone Wild: Putting the thanks back into Thanksgiving

Pa Kettle sits at the crowded family table, removes his hat, looks up to Heaven and says, “Much obliged, Lord.” A classic scene from the 1957 film, The Kettles on Old MacDonald's Farm. In my younger years, I was always fond of “For this plate of food, we thank the Holy Dude.” Now with more than a dash of salt in my hair and a family of my own, Thanksgiving toasts have more significance because I know the difference between turkeys gone wild and gone for Wild Turkey. Fortunately, we can find wisdom and brevity in our history to remind us how to properly pay our respects.

After reaffirming Thanksgiving Day in 1863, President Lincoln was reported to have quoted one of his favorite authors, Robert Burns, and offered the following toast: “Dare to be honest and fear no labor.” Sobering words said in the midst of the Civil War and on the heels of the Emancipation Proclamation.


A month after the attack on Pearl Harbor, President Roosevelt rallied the nation in a 1941 Congressional speech and set Norman Rockwell to illustrate the four basic freedoms: “…every person is entitled to the freedom of speech, freedom to worship, freedom from want, and the freedom from fear.” Rockwell’s painting, The Freedom from Want, also known as Thanksgiving Dinner, shows the connection to family and returning to old values.

Goals were set forth by President Kennedy during a Veterans’ Day ceremony in 1963: “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

This annual meal-time moment is a key opportunity to share from the heart and show appreciation from kin to God. So before offering your Thanksgiving toast this year and every year thereafter, take a few minutes and reflect. What and who do you appreciate? Tell them and help put the thanks back into Thanksgiving.

From my book Tasteful Toasts I offer a universal blessing which can be used on Thanksgiving Day or any meal time:

I've been asked by our gracious host
To raise my glass and offer a toast
Traveling from North, South, West or East
We partake in this bountiful feast
Whether surrounded by family or friend
We thank the Lord and say Amen


Until next time,


Michael


Copyright November 2008 Magical Concepts

Contact the author for permission to reprint