Four Tests for Taming the Tongue

Count Dracula had a noticible foreign accent and Frankenstein mumbled. Both could have improved their speaking abilities and been less frightening if they had practiced saying a tongue twisters before greeting others. Speaking with proper enunciation, articulation and at a comfortable rate of speed for your presentation style can calm your nerves, improve the quality and clarity of your speech, as well as fully engage your audience.

Tongue twisters are frequently used in speech therapy for adults, foreign language students, and children to help overcome the four main articulation disorders: Substitutions, Omissions, Distortions and Additions – a.k.a. SODA.

Try the following twisters to test and tame your tongue – it’s therapeutic!

The Rules

To get the most out of your tasteful Halloween tongue twisters:

1. Say each tongue twister slowly, pronouncing each word clearly and correctly.

2. Pick two or three tongue twisters per day and repeat slowly three times each.

3. Gradually say the tongue twisters faster, stopping if you trip over words.

Substitutions (R, V and W) – Sounds of a letter replaced for another, like “w” for “r” in “wabbit” for “rabbit.”

· Rabid rabbits ran around the rugged rocks.

· Vernon Vampire visits various vampires virtuously.

· Werewolves watch witches wandering in the woods.

Omissions (B, D and H) – Sounds in a word that are completely omitted, like “han” for “hand.”

· Brad Bat bit bad black bran bread.

· Dracula digs dreary dark dungeons.

· The headless horseman hunts with horrible howling hounds.

Distortions (G, S and TH) - Incorrect sound causing a frontal lisp, as in “sip” for “ship.”

· Giant, green, gross goblins ghoulishly giggle.

· Spiders spin spacious webs in spooky houses.

· He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.

Additions (F, M and P) - Extra sounds/syllables added to the word, like “animamal” for “animal.”

· Frankfurters fried in fish fat taste fresh and fine to Frankenstein.

· Many mournful mummies moan for their mommies.

· Professional pumpkin pickers are prone to pick the plumpest pumpkins.

Did you tax your tongue until it twisted? Terrific! The next time you tell a tongue-twisting tale, think of Tasteful Toasts.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright October 2011 Magical Concepts.

Anniversary Anagrams

A puzzling word tribute to the one you love.

There are hundreds of ways to show your love and as a professional presenter, magician, and enchanted husband I offer these anniversary anagrams to my wife, whom I cherish. Please adapt and share this tribute with the significant person in your life.

an·a·gram (an-uh-gram)

An anagram is a word cipher game where you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to discover a secret message. And since my wife is a writer, I’ll begin with a literary example: Rearranging “A decimal point” to create “I'm a dot in place.”

Marriage is a journey where you write your own adventures one day at a time, like the pages in a book. Coincidentally “filling a novel” is an anagram for "Falling in love."

From her current mystery novel, one of her characters might say in, "You one valid girl" translates to, "I love you, darling."

And as we pursue our hearts desires, together, I support her with all that I can. Some would say I’m “A dream loan-giver,” which is an anagram for “Love and Marriage.”

We’ve been together for more than a dozen wonderful years and people ask us what is our secret – I call that type of person a “Life admirer” which is our secret anagram for “Married life.”

Some would say, “Hmm! A cavalier,” but that’s just an anagram for “Michael Varma” and I’m “the married man,” which translates to “I'm her darn mate!”

That’s my “Tasteful Toasts” article or “stout fast tales” for the month.

So, when you’re “In Love,” – an anagram for “Live on” – I recommend you continue to do so with passion.

[Many thanks to www.anagramgenius.com for making me look like a genius.]

Your turn: Share your favorite anagram or tasteful tribute to the one you love.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2011 Magical Concepts.

Tasteful Wedding One-Liners

Remember the two golden rules to pack a loving punch.

Adding humor to a wedding or anniversary party is always welcome, but it requires that you follow the two golden rules: tell good clean jokes and jest in favor of marriage. This can be a tall order because most wedding wisecracks are far from wise. Even the great comedic legend Milton Berle said, “Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Below are my top ten picks of tasteful wedding one-liners that can be personalize by replacing bride, groom, husband or wife with the actual people’s names.

1. A good wife will always forgive her husband when she's wrong.

2. A husband is not a yes-man; when his wife says no, he says no.

3. Why did the groom cross the road? Because his wife was on the other side.

4. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

5. The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest that perhaps he’s too old to do it.

6. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

7. Marriages are made in heaven, but the details are worked out on earth.

8. Single people are looking for a prize; married people find a reward.

9. To error is to be single, to get married is divine.

10. “Husband and wife” is an anagram for “Fun was had in bed.”

Even these top ten one-liners can pack a punch depending on the size, age and culture of your of your audience. Use your best judgment. If you’re still in doubt then leave it out. Go toward the white wedding light and you’ll always be right.

Bonus – a brief marriage joke:

A man walks up to a gorgeous woman in a large grocery store and says, “Excuse me but, I’ve lost my wife somewhere here in the market, could you talk to me for a few minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Well, whenever I talk to beautiful woman my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere.”

Your turn - share your favorite tasteful wedding one-liner, today!

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright August 2011 Magical Concepts.

More Than Words

Learn the three “A”s that make a magical marriage

It takes more than good communication to create the magical marriages seen in the movies. Wedded bliss is a combination of several movies genres: romance to attain love, comedy to induce laughter, and action to partake in life’s adventures. Read the secret scripts of the three “A”s: Attention, Attitude and Action to celebrate many wedding anniversaries in the future.

Attention

A quote from the screenplay Shakespeare in Love: “The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.” To pay attention to the large and dreams in your mate’s heart and mind demonstrates a regard like no other. This level of thoughtfulness and understanding can forge a bond to last a lifetime.

Attitude

A winning attitude comes from the movie Good Will Hunting: “It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other.” Like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, the husband and wife fit together perfectly – each completing the other’s picture. When she, the social butterfly, and he, the event planner, combine their talents they become the cosmic couple.

Action

In When Harry Met Sally viewers heard: “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” Such moments are vital to take action. When’s the perfect time to pop the question? Now. And like the characters in that movie, you’ll have your ups and downs and challenges that test the heart, but only when you seize the opportunity will you hear that magic word, “Yes.”

There are no minor roles in your life’s movie. Everyone from your immediate family to your friends and acquaintances plays a significant part; each one pushes you forward on your journey. And if you pay attention, keep a positive attitude, and take immediate action you’ll – you know it’s coming…live happily ever after.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright July 2011 Magical Concepts.

Backyard Broadcast

Three tips for wedding toasts at an outdoor venue

Backyard weddings can be intimate and less costly but sometimes come with a legion of logistics. A primary concern is sound. Indoor venues have walls to amplify voices and music giving guests clear sound, but the great outdoors requires microphones and speakers. Take heed of the following tips to ensure the newlyweds and witnesses can hear your well wishes.

Hour of Power

Arrive at least an hour early to test the equipment and acoustics, both frequently overlooked – often due to event day errands (and excuses): You need to pick up black socks for the groom, tissues for the bride, the minister from the airport, or you got stuck in traffic.

I was the officiate and emcee for a couple last July, and by design I arrived two hours early. My time was well spent; about twenty minutes adjusting the microphone volume and rearranging speakers into “the cone zone” (see below) before lending a hand with the decorations to fill in for absent helpers.

The Cone Zone

For outdoor venues speaker placement is critical. You’ll need to take advantage of the speakers’ natural amplification. Be sure that the speaker output, which travels outward like a cone or triangle shape, is faced towards the audience from the corners of the area so that the sound is focused to the center of the seating arena (see picture above).

I relocated the speakers from the floor of the alter to opposite sides of the yard, in lieu of stands, placed them on top of tables because sound travels out and down. An additional benefit to the speaker separation is an unobstructed view of the bride and groom – plus there’s less chance of someone walking in front of the speakers and cause feedback.

Manage the Microphone

Speak into the microphone. It seems a given, but people get excited and start talking with their hands, which can accidentally move the microphone. Then your audience hears every third word – if they’re lucky. Pay attention to the basics and you’ll be you looking and speaking like a pro.

Whether the knot is tied in a courtyard, vineyard or backyard, make sure you know the broadcast basics so that your Tasteful Toasts can be heard.

For more tips and trick about microphones read Acapella Amplified.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright June 2011 Magical Concepts.

Happy, Healthy Memories

The day I met Ernie Weckbaugh, he said, “Michael, never turn down an opportunity to speak…especially if you have a captured audience.” That was one of the many lessons I learned from Ernie, which forced a bittersweet smile on my face as I prepared his eulogy last October. Ever the lighthearted teacher, I can hear his voice, “Instead of offering a chronological presentation of my life, provide some basic facts then key insights that evoke happy, healthy memories and maybe an anecdote or two.”

The Facts

Weckbaugh was a veteran journalist, L.A. Daily News columnist, author and former child actor - a member of the original cast of the Our Gang Comedies (Little Rascals) in the 1930s, and my friend. As the owner and president of Casa Graphics, Inc. and Bestseller Books Publishing, he and his wife Patty, of fifty wonderful years, produced several hundred books for self-publishers. He lectured on small business success, marketing and promotion at UCLA, USC and Woodbury colleges.

An Anecdote (or two)

Ernie could not resist three things in life. First and foremost is his lovely wife Patty – and we know she loved him. She changed her perfect alliteration name from Patty Palmer to Patty Weckbaugh. If that doesn’t say, “I love you,” I don’t know what does. Although, being a Weckbaugh does make her unique.

The other two things Ernie could not resist were a good story and a bad pun. For example: Ernie believed in donating blood. It is a healthy altruistic habit – a planned act of kindness is what he called it, which very few people follow through on. One day when he was providing his bi-monthly donation he had an epiphany.

He told the nurse, “There are only two types of blood donors: pessimists and optimists. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative; and an optimist’s is b-positive.”

That story netted Ernie a chuckle and an extra pack of cookies. I think that was his real goal. He never met a cookie he didn’t like. No doubt the nurses were on to him.

He also loved helping people tell their own stories by self-publishing books. I recall one tale he worked on in the early 1990s. It was about two Eskimos sitting in a kayak and who were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, which proved once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Good clean humor was his trademark. Clean is supreme. Another lesson I learned from Ernest Lewis Weckbaugh.

In Memoriam

I have a simple task for each of you to do on Ernie’s behalf. It’s something very easy. It will take about one hour of your time. And you’ll get a treat when you’re done.

Ernie saved 18 peoples’ lives, a year, for the last 36 years. For non-math majors that’s 630 lives. Like clockwork, every 56 days, Ernie Weckbaugh donated a pint of blood. Each pint can save three lives.

Ernie donated more than 25 gallons of blood over his lifetime and in 2009 was honored by St. Joseph’s Hospital. That’s a whole lot of juice and cookies.

So your mission is, between now and the end of the year, to donate one pint of blood in memory of Ernie Weckbaugh. Maybe, just maybe, it will turn into a happy and healthy habit for you, too.

To Ernie, and Patty, I offer this tasteful toast:

You are unique
Morals sublime
Character rich
One of a kind


Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician.To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright June 2011 Magical Concepts.