Win Your Case

Target the right audience and the judge will rule in your favor.

My cat excused me from jury duty.

Truth be told, I actually like jury service, but I was scheduled to deliver a dear friend’s eulogy in the middle of the proposed trial dates. I decided to share specific facts about myself that I calculated would free me, temporarily, from my civic duty.

Imagine the four walls that surround you form a courtroom. The judge is sitting on his bench, I'm in the jury box directly in front of you because you are one of the attorneys – if that’s a demotion in your status pretend you’re an actor playing your part.

I was perspective juror number nine of a domestic violence case beginning the voire dire process. The judge requires each perspective juror to stand and answer ten questions. I only needed three to be pardoned: Name, marital status, and children.

“Thank you, your Honor, my name is Michael Varma. I am married, have no children but I do take care of a 19-year-old arthritic cat."

The judge asked, "Is it your cat or your wife’s?"

“My wife's.”

"And you take care of her cat?"

"Yes, I kind of married into the family."

And that's all it took. A few minutes later I was excused from jury duty. Just in case you don’t understand, let me help you connect the dots.

Who is my primary audience? By a process of elimination, it’s nobody in the jury box. The judge? Good guess, but no. He’d be considered my secondary audience. It's you, he prosecution and or defense attorney.

What kind of case is this? A domestic violence case. Some guy allegedly got drunk and allegedly beat up his girlfriend.

And what kind of perspective juror am I? I’m a married man that takes care of his wife's 19-year-old arthritic cat which makes me...whipped? Pathetic? No, it makes me a sympathetic juror.

Do the attorneys want me on the jury? No.

Do I get out of jury duty? Yes!

When you define your target audience you can create a classic win-win scenario. In my true tale, the attorneys win by removing a person that might feel negatively about his client’s actions and I win by escaping jury duty.

Your turn: What did you say to your audience to win your case?

Michael Varma is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty... by his cat. He has authored a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), earned his Distinguished Toastmaster designation and penned his first mystery novel. Michael frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

Yes, you can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

Find Your Focus to Win Your Game

I recently attended a mystery writers workshop where authors shared their dirty little secrects for producing a ploethora of pages. Several described elaborate writing rituals of being in sacrosaint chairs with morning stimulants – coffee, tea, jelly beans. A few explained how they play a fifteen minute game: Write a thousand words in fifteen minutes or less, then get a reward. I revealed my trade secret for winning life’s games by using these handy three lines: Goal Line, Outline and Deadline.

Goal Line

American Football is simple in concept. Carry the ball across the goal line to gain points and win. All the players understand the purpose, are filled with passion for the game and motivated by awards, fame or money whether it’s salary or future endorsements.

To write a mystery novel, Tasteful Toast or any other project, follow the same steps, which are similar to constructing a vision board. What is your overall goal? Write an award-winning blockbuster thriller-mystery novel. Why? Because you love suspense stories and want to be independently wealthy and see your book made into a movie. Dream BIG!

Outline

To reach the endzone the quarter back (that’s you) must have several plays to go the distance. While you can complete one hundred yards in a single hail mary pass, most football games are won by inching along ten yards at a time.

Most project, writing or otherwise, will have an outline – some more detailed than others. I’ve noticed the most successful people have a written outline opposed to, “I’ve got it all in my head” authors. Once the hashmarks are on paper there’s a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and pride. Often there is a need to edit. Adjustments are good and move the entire process forward.

Deadline

Football is a game with a definitive timeframe. The referee helps administer four quarters lasting fifteen minutes that provide additional motivation – an urgency to beat the clock. Deadlines move the ball (and the world) toward the goal line. Newspaper reporters must meet or beat a deadline to file their story of who won the Super Bowl by a specific time or it won’t make the front page.

Whodunit’s have a ticking clock, too. A race against time or it’s curtains for someone. And if you don’t have a deadline for the next item in your outline, you’ll miss out on the victory dances from first down to touchdown.

My favorite Vince Lombardi quote, “The price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal is worthwhile.”

Find your focus and establish your three lines: goal line, outline and deadline. Put your game face on and work on the first three items listed in your outline and soon you’ll be crossing the finish line.

A New Year’s Toast:

Every year it comes around

Resolutions can be found

Have a vision, have a dream

It's easier than it seems

Avoid the worry, avoid the fear

Time to get yourself in gear

Your Turn: What are your New Year's goals?

Michael Varma is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty... by his cat. He has authored a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), earned his Distinguished Toastmaster designation and penned his first mystery novel. Michael frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

Yes, you can email Michael for a free guest pass to the Magic Castle ~ and you don’t need to subscribe to his funny and informational blog…but it would be worth it.

Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright January 2012 Magical Concepts.

New Year’s Nuptials

Toasts for new beginnings

New Year’s resolutions are all about making a promise to new beginnings, both to yourself and to the one(s) you love. Whether it’s spoken words sealed with a kiss or a written contract signed and witnessed, you pledge to modify your lifestyle. I offer three tips and toasts to jumpstart your New Year’s nuptials.

Write it down.

Write a realistic list, large or small, of your aspirations. Avoid vague goals like, “I want to save more money.” Be positive, definitive, and include a target due date to help motivate, “I will save twenty-five dollars a week, for the next three months, starting January 1.” You’ll net a cool $300 by the end of March and gain a bankable new habit.

Here's to your health this New Year's night,
Wishing your future is wealthy and bright.

Take immediate action.

Determine the first step necessary to achieve your goal and do it now! If saving money is your ultimate goal, take twenty-five dollars out of your wallet now and set it aside. Don’t have it? How about five bucks today and every day for the next seven days? That’ll equal thirty-five dollars a week and you’ll exceed your goal.

Avoid the worry, avoid the fear
Time to get yourself in gear!

Follow through daily.

Consistency is the key to success. Look at your list every day and determine the next step you need to take and, well, take it. If it’s five bucks a day or three today and seven tomorrow, follow through, daily. Each incremental success brings you closer to your overall goal.

Fifty-two weeks of fortitude,
Affords me much gratitude.

You can enlist the support of friends and family. They, too, might have similar goals and you’ll become a mutually supportive, encouraging, and winning team.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright December 2011 Magical Concepts.

Make a Family Toast a Tradition

After having a fabulous day, or even a stressful one, reconnecting with your family can lift spirits and energize one and all – an excellent reason to increase the frequency of a family toast beyond the annual Thanksgiving meal. It’s a lesson we can learn from our past, repeat in the present in order to make a brighter future.

Past

The Greek Philosopher Epictetus (AD 55 – AD 135) offered, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

If rejoicing is done only once a year, many-a-wonderful triumphs, small and large, would be easily forgotten.

Present

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around,” said famed country singer Willie Nelson.

Being openly thankful all year long adds value to your life and sharing even the simplest experiences make us all feel a little closer.

Future

Start the tradition of a family toast once a week – your choice of day, and let them know what you’re thankful for. Fill a pitcher with your family’s favorite drink then clink.

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.” - Cicero (106 BC – 43 BC)

Your turn: What is your favorite family toast?

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright November 2011 Magical Concepts.

Four Tests for Taming the Tongue

Count Dracula had a noticible foreign accent and Frankenstein mumbled. Both could have improved their speaking abilities and been less frightening if they had practiced saying a tongue twisters before greeting others. Speaking with proper enunciation, articulation and at a comfortable rate of speed for your presentation style can calm your nerves, improve the quality and clarity of your speech, as well as fully engage your audience.

Tongue twisters are frequently used in speech therapy for adults, foreign language students, and children to help overcome the four main articulation disorders: Substitutions, Omissions, Distortions and Additions – a.k.a. SODA.

Try the following twisters to test and tame your tongue – it’s therapeutic!

The Rules

To get the most out of your tasteful Halloween tongue twisters:

1. Say each tongue twister slowly, pronouncing each word clearly and correctly.

2. Pick two or three tongue twisters per day and repeat slowly three times each.

3. Gradually say the tongue twisters faster, stopping if you trip over words.

Substitutions (R, V and W) – Sounds of a letter replaced for another, like “w” for “r” in “wabbit” for “rabbit.”

· Rabid rabbits ran around the rugged rocks.

· Vernon Vampire visits various vampires virtuously.

· Werewolves watch witches wandering in the woods.

Omissions (B, D and H) – Sounds in a word that are completely omitted, like “han” for “hand.”

· Brad Bat bit bad black bran bread.

· Dracula digs dreary dark dungeons.

· The headless horseman hunts with horrible howling hounds.

Distortions (G, S and TH) - Incorrect sound causing a frontal lisp, as in “sip” for “ship.”

· Giant, green, gross goblins ghoulishly giggle.

· Spiders spin spacious webs in spooky houses.

· He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.

Additions (F, M and P) - Extra sounds/syllables added to the word, like “animamal” for “animal.”

· Frankfurters fried in fish fat taste fresh and fine to Frankenstein.

· Many mournful mummies moan for their mommies.

· Professional pumpkin pickers are prone to pick the plumpest pumpkins.

Did you tax your tongue until it twisted? Terrific! The next time you tell a tongue-twisting tale, think of Tasteful Toasts.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright October 2011 Magical Concepts.

Anniversary Anagrams

A puzzling word tribute to the one you love.

There are hundreds of ways to show your love and as a professional presenter, magician, and enchanted husband I offer these anniversary anagrams to my wife, whom I cherish. Please adapt and share this tribute with the significant person in your life.

an·a·gram (an-uh-gram)

An anagram is a word cipher game where you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to discover a secret message. And since my wife is a writer, I’ll begin with a literary example: Rearranging “A decimal point” to create “I'm a dot in place.”

Marriage is a journey where you write your own adventures one day at a time, like the pages in a book. Coincidentally “filling a novel” is an anagram for "Falling in love."

From her current mystery novel, one of her characters might say in, "You one valid girl" translates to, "I love you, darling."

And as we pursue our hearts desires, together, I support her with all that I can. Some would say I’m “A dream loan-giver,” which is an anagram for “Love and Marriage.”

We’ve been together for more than a dozen wonderful years and people ask us what is our secret – I call that type of person a “Life admirer” which is our secret anagram for “Married life.”

Some would say, “Hmm! A cavalier,” but that’s just an anagram for “Michael Varma” and I’m “the married man,” which translates to “I'm her darn mate!”

That’s my “Tasteful Toasts” article or “stout fast tales” for the month.

So, when you’re “In Love,” – an anagram for “Live on” – I recommend you continue to do so with passion.

[Many thanks to www.anagramgenius.com for making me look like a genius.]

Your turn: Share your favorite anagram or tasteful tribute to the one you love.

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2011 Magical Concepts.