Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts

Friday, June 15, 2012

Waffle Wedded Wife

Giggles that started a joyful marriage.

One of the joys of writing articles is when readers send me success stories, giggle generating jokes or videos like the Waffle Wedded Wife clip, which you can see on my Tasteful Toasts blog website. It’s a good reminder that you can still have fun when you flub a line.

The Gospel About Giggles

Laughter IS the best medicine. Need proof? The following is a list of the top ten fascinating fun facts from reputable institutions around the world regarding mirth’s medicinal qualities:

1. There are 18 different kinds of smiles – the most common is the smile of enjoyment.

2. Thirteen muscles are used to smile, but 47 are required for frowning.

3. You have to smile nearly a quarter of a million times to make one wrinkle.

4. You can stimulate your heart and lungs and improve breathing capacity by laughing.

5. Laughing one hundred times a day is equal to ten minutes of rowing.

6. Fifteen minutes of laughter equals the benefit of two hours sleep.

7. One good belly laugh burns off three and a half calories.

8. Laughter causes endorphins to be released, similar to a joggers’ 'high'.

9. Laughter releases feelings of anger, fear, guilt, anxiety and tension.

10. Laughter is contagious.

Two additional fun facts – my favorites – are 1) the average adult laughs 15 times a day and 2) children laugh about 400 times a day. I think I’ll follow the example the kids are setting for us.

In the case of the Waffle Wedded Wife video, there is a moral to the story: when you make a mistake, acknowledge it and move on. Everything will turn out fine.


Your turn: What gets you to giggle?

Michael Varma, is an award-winning instructor, professional magician, and once was excused from jury duty…by his cat. He has authored a series of educational puzzle books (Mental Blocks), created games (Arithmesticks), earned his Distinguished Toastmaster designation and recently penned a mystery novel. Michael frequently performs at the Magic Castle in Hollywood, California.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Anniversary Anagrams

A puzzling word tribute to the one you love.

There are hundreds of ways to show your love and as a professional presenter, magician, and enchanted husband I offer these anniversary anagrams to my wife, whom I cherish. Please adapt and share this tribute with the significant person in your life.

an·a·gram (an-uh-gram)

An anagram is a word cipher game where you rearrange the letters of a word or phrase to discover a secret message. And since my wife is a writer, I’ll begin with a literary example: Rearranging “A decimal point” to create “I'm a dot in place.”

Marriage is a journey where you write your own adventures one day at a time, like the pages in a book. Coincidentally “filling a novel” is an anagram for "Falling in love."

From her current mystery novel, one of her characters might say in, "You one valid girl" translates to, "I love you, darling."

And as we pursue our hearts desires, together, I support her with all that I can. Some would say I’m “A dream loan-giver,” which is an anagram for “Love and Marriage.”

We’ve been together for more than a dozen wonderful years and people ask us what is our secret – I call that type of person a “Life admirer” which is our secret anagram for “Married life.”

Some would say, “Hmm! A cavalier,” but that’s just an anagram for “Michael Varma” and I’m “the married man,” which translates to “I'm her darn mate!”

That’s my “Tasteful Toasts” article or “stout fast tales” for the month.

So, when you’re “In Love,” – an anagram for “Live on” – I recommend you continue to do so with passion.

[Many thanks to www.anagramgenius.com for making me look like a genius.]

Your turn: Share your favorite anagram or tasteful tribute to the one you love.


Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2011 Magical Concepts.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Tasteful Wedding One-Liners

Remember the two golden rules to pack a loving punch.

Adding humor to a wedding or anniversary party is always welcome, but it requires that you follow the two golden rules: tell good clean jokes and jest in favor of marriage. This can be a tall order because most wedding wisecracks are far from wise. Even the great comedic legend Milton Berle said, “Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Below are my top ten picks of tasteful wedding one-liners that can be personalize by replacing bride, groom, husband or wife with the actual people’s names.

1. A good wife will always forgive her husband when she's wrong.

2. A husband is not a yes-man; when his wife says no, he says no.

3. Why did the groom cross the road? Because his wife was on the other side.

4. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

5. The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest that perhaps he’s too old to do it.

6. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

7. Marriages are made in heaven, but the details are worked out on earth.

8. Single people are looking for a prize; married people find a reward.

9. To error is to be single, to get married is divine.

10. “Husband and wife” is an anagram for “Fun was had in bed.”

Even these top ten one-liners can pack a punch depending on the size, age and culture of your of your audience. Use your best judgment. If you’re still in doubt then leave it out. Go toward the white wedding light and you’ll always be right.

Bonus – a brief marriage joke:

A man walks up to a gorgeous woman in a large grocery store and says, “Excuse me but, I’ve lost my wife somewhere here in the market, could you talk to me for a few minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Well, whenever I talk to beautiful woman my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere.”

Your turn - share your favorite tasteful wedding one-liner, today!

Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright August 2011 Magical Concepts.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Backyard Broadcast

Three tips for wedding toasts at an outdoor venue

Backyard weddings can be intimate and less costly but sometimes come with a legion of logistics. A primary concern is sound. Indoor venues have walls to amplify voices and music giving guests clear sound, but the great outdoors requires microphones and speakers. Take heed of the following tips to ensure the newlyweds and witnesses can hear your well wishes.

Hour of Power

Arrive at least an hour early to test the equipment and acoustics, both frequently overlooked – often due to event day errands (and excuses): You need to pick up black socks for the groom, tissues for the bride, the minister from the airport, or you got stuck in traffic.

I was the officiate and emcee for a couple last July, and by design I arrived two hours early. My time was well spent; about twenty minutes adjusting the microphone volume and rearranging speakers into “the cone zone” (see below) before lending a hand with the decorations to fill in for absent helpers.

The Cone Zone

For outdoor venues speaker placement is critical. You’ll need to take advantage of the speakers’ natural amplification. Be sure that the speaker output, which travels outward like a cone or triangle shape, is faced towards the audience from the corners of the area so that the sound is focused to the center of the seating arena (see picture above).

I relocated the speakers from the floor of the alter to opposite sides of the yard, in lieu of stands, placed them on top of tables because sound travels out and down. An additional benefit to the speaker separation is an unobstructed view of the bride and groom – plus there’s less chance of someone walking in front of the speakers and cause feedback.

Manage the Microphone

Speak into the microphone. It seems a given, but people get excited and start talking with their hands, which can accidentally move the microphone. Then your audience hears every third word – if they’re lucky. Pay attention to the basics and you’ll be you looking and speaking like a pro.

Whether the knot is tied in a courtyard, vineyard or backyard, make sure you know the broadcast basics so that your Tasteful Toasts can be heard.

For more tips and trick about microphones read Acapella Amplified.


Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit www.MichaelVarma.com. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright June 2011 Magical Concepts.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What to be Said After They’re Wed?

Two topics for an appropriate anniversary toast

Remember that merry day of matrimony? It seemed like only last year the happy couple went willingly down the aisle toward wedded bliss. Some may have been “coaxed,” but the fact remains it’s their anniversary – time to celebrate another successful 52 weeks of togetherness. In addition to giving her a Nordstrom shopping spree and him a flat screen TV, an appropriate verbal gift is to remind them why they said “I do.”

Toasting Topic #1: Equality
Reminisce how the bride and groom, each strong and stable on their own, now function in the divine interdependency of marriage – a worthy status according to Oprah and Psychology Today. Cite examples, then and now, of how this dynamic duo balance work and play and still has time to save the planet.

Their equally-matched talents are what make them the perfect pair. Take the initiative and share your memories of how this man and wife improve the quality of your life, making it a priceless gift indeed.

Suggested Toast #1
With one look into your eyes
You cannot disguise
Your zest for life
As man and wife

Toasting Topic #2: Harmony
Some couples complement each other extremely well, like the bass and treble clefs on piano sheet music. Together these love birds make a marvelous marriage melody. Their passion can only be labeled a la the classic movie The Princess Bride as “twue love.”

Obvious mutual affection and respect between this twosome are easily noted and need not be labored with a long-winded anecdote. Best to skip directly to the toast, followed by dessert.

Suggested Toast #2
You are blessed from above
With devotion and love
I have a good notion
To second His motion
We bid you good cheers
Partners in love for many more years


From the first wedding anniversary to the twenty-fifth and beyond, share your observations with your family, friends and guests with a tasteful toast. Rejoice in their successful union and take pride in reminding folks attending the celebration why a happy man and wife make a happy span of life.



Michael Varma is a freelance writer, award-winning presenter and professional magician. To learn more, visit http://www.michaelvarma.com/. Contact Michael Varma, the author of Tasteful Toasts, for permission to reprint this article. Copyright September 2009 Magical Concepts.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

How to Create an Intro with a Crescendo

“This guy who’s coming to the podium – you gotta keep your eye on him. He’ll make your wallet disappear. Please welcome Michael Varma.” Yes, a true Hall of Shame introduction I received years ago. It was horrendous on so many levels. It made me sound like a pick-pocket, but it gets worse. I was speaking before local businessmen asking for donations to fund Friends of the Garden – a nonprofit project for elementary school children to learn how to grow a vegetable garden.

My introducer neglected to explain I was a professional magician and that he was excited to meet me. He told me a story backstage of how another magician, about 10 years ago, magically stole his wallet as part of a comedy routine. His incomplete reminiscence at the lectern effectively killed my credibility. I had to take valuable time away from my original purpose to clarify his comments, then suitably re-introduce myself.

PROPER INTRO
A more fitting introduction for this month’s blog topic would be, “Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest is a professional entertainer and keynote speaker who over the last 25 years has performed and witnessed introductions ranging from spectacular to shocking. He will tell us how to avoid the Hall of Shame and provide an exclusive look into the secrets of giving an inspiring and dynamic introduction. Please welcome to the stage . . .”

Interested to know the speaker’s name? Curious about what secrets will be revealed? Then my 30-second intro did a good job. It was successful because it contained the three Cs of a quality introduction: content, context, and credibility.

1. CONTENT
A brief succinct sentence describing what you plan to talk about establishes a connection with the audience. Include an interesting and attention grabbing fact to pique your audience’s interest for the next C: context.

2. CONTEXT
Explaining why the topic is timely or important to the listeners will help solidify the bond between the speaker and listeners. This persuasive sentence grants the presenter full access to engage each participant, putting you exactly where you want to be.

3. CREDIBILITY
People want to learn from experts. A medical student wants to learn from an experienced successful doctor, not the Maytag repairman. A concise sentence stating your credentials is sufficient.

Occasionally I’m asked, “But what if the speaker has several degrees and awards?” Best recommendation: pick only two or three. Select the pertinent accolades for the subject matter and match it to the audience because in most cases less is more.

Limiting each component (content, context, and credibility) to one sentence provides the perfect length intro of 30 to 60 seconds.

FORMAT
For basic introductions, keeping the Cs in order (1-2-3) creates a crescendo before announcing the performer’s name, which is the natural cue to step up to the microphone. Ultimately, the type of event and the emcee’s level of experience will dictate the order of the three Cs.

I like the 3-2-1 format for wedding and anniversary parties. You may ask, “If it’s, like, so obvious you’re at a wedding reception, is it still necessary to cover the content, context and credibility?”

Yes, for several reasons. It notifies the audience and speaker what’s next on the agenda, provides a natural segue, and best of all, it takes less than ten seconds to say one sentence. For example: “The best man, Stephen Varma, the groom’s brother, will say a few words and lead the guests in a toast to the newlyweds.” Non-family members and their guests will know the who, what, where, when, and why – Matt Lauer would be so proud.

REALITY CHECK
Books on party protocol preach that the master of ceremonies will contact the performer and find out the following information: the speaker’s name and correct pronunciation (spelled phonetically if necessary), the speaker’s title (CEO, CFO, President, etc), the speaker’s bona fides (Mr., Ms., Dr., PhD, etc.) and the title of the speech.

In truth, I’ve rarely received any such call. Waiting for the phone to ring can lead to disaster. I submit into evidence another one of my Hall of Shame introductions.

“H-e-e-r-e’s Michael!” While I appreciate being raised to the legendary ranks of Letterman, Leno, Carson and other one-name icons, it was an inappropriate introduction for a group of elementary school children waiting to learn about earthquake safety. If kids know these late night talk show hosts then we have an explanation for the country’s dismal test scores.

ESSENTIALS
Most professional presenters, myself included, know the power of a proper introduction. A careless, haphazard, off-the-cuff intro can destroy the immediate connection needed to engage your audience. So, instead of waiting for a nonexistent phone call from the person who might introduce me, I actively do the following:

· Create a well-crafted introduction printed in a large 24 point font (for easy reading)
· E-mail or fax copies in advance to the contact person
· Arrive early and locate the person making the introductions
· Provide another copy of the intro and have it read out loud until we’re both satisfied

If you follow the three Cs of a quality introduction – content, context, and credibility – and learn from my experience, you’ll avoid the Hall of Shame and guarantee yourself a warm welcome from your audience.


Until next time,

Michael


Copyright April 2008 Magical Concepts
Contact the author for permission to reprint

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How to Avoid the Toasting Hall of Shame



“No toast except his own should last longer than 60 seconds.”
– Mark Twain


Last June I witnessed the worst, most horrific and tragic toast in my life. The best man, who by all accounts was sober, grabbed the microphone and proceeded to embarrass everyone at the reception. His voice boomed throughout the ballroom as he began, “There once was a bride from France,” and after concluding the off-color limerick he forged on, “There once was a groom from Nantucket.” The guests were not amused. The newlyweds, their parents and grandparents were mortified. This soon to be ex-friend must have thought his humor would be enjoyed by all, but he was sorely mistaken. His major faux pas reinforces my need to blog on toasting etiquette.

The purpose of a toast is to shine a gentle spotlight around and pay tribute to the honored guest or event. Toasts typically proffer well wishes, good fortune, long life, health, happiness, sage advice or other positive thoughts. Composing a toast that is eloquent, poignant, whimsical and witty can be a challenge and worth every effort.

If presented well, every father of the bride will raise his glass with glee and every mother to great grandmother will declare a “tissue moment.” For example, the following toast, which I wrote for my brother’s wedding, is simple yet heart felt:

Your marriage makes a perfect start
For every life is a work of art
Paint a picture filled with bliss
Treasured in your lover's kiss
Wedding vows are truly strong
May yours last forever long

I skipped over several steps like your introduction, explaining how you’re related to the guest of honor, and jumped to the actual toast (more entries for later). In this posting I will share the three B’s for delivering a successful toast: be brief, be bold, be done.

BE BRIEF
In most cases, less is more. Keeping your remarks short gives your toast a greater impact and gets you on and off the stage. Well crafted words and a succinct delivery will be appreciated by your audience and more likely remembered for years to come.

BE BOLD
Stand proud and speak loud. Ensure everyone in the room, including folks sitting in the back row, can hear your tasteful toast. Belting out to the rafters may not be needed. A quick run-through in the room before the crowd assembles will calm frayed nerves and help you gauge how far to project your voice.

BE DONE
When finished sit down. Avoid the urge to take a bow or return for an encore. Smile, nod, and accept any applause or acknowledgements then refocus the spotlight on the guest of honor.

As a distinguished Toastmaster and professional magician of more than twenty-five years, I’ve performed and observed thousands of speeches ranging from exceptional, to decent, to bury-me-now. Overall, I recommend avoiding dirty jokes and risqué stories. Veer towards the white wedding light with words that praise and inspire.

My goal is to post useful and practical information covering topics from tasteful toasting etiquette to proper party planning. Subscribe now to my blog so you too can benefit from my years of experience.


Until next time,

Michael
Copyright April 2008 Magical Concepts
 
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